Denial Family

Denial: Woorrrkkking

Part of a multi-segmented series on Denial 

SOME NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED TO PROTECT PRIVACY 
❤ I am thinking of you as I am writing this my friend from today that cried her eyes out. Keep on Keepin’ On. You are a true inspiration. ❤

I wish that I could say I was handling all this better but I am not. Communication between myself and DCYF is practically non-existent because I am working on myself and being with my daughter instead of focusing on their lack of doing their job. Their actions are beneath contempt. 

I go between shocked and irritated then dismissive to wondering how the department is allowed to get away with this sort of thing? I guess messing with parents’ mental health is all fun and games to some.

I have become someone to just ignore because I will not allow another family to raise my child, teach them their morals, values, ethics, religion, and insist on seeing her more than 4 hours a week on everyone else’s schedule. I am not the doormat that they insist on gaslighting. Some truly treat parents this way when they come into the system.

I suited up and showed up from the start; most parents do not “show up” until months later. Or if they do they have so messed up their life they do not know where to begin to fix it so they need DCYF to fix it for them…

Hmmm….

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…..maybe they do not know what to do with someone that knows WTF to actually do to get things rolling? Or thinks I am faking it? Probably the latter or both.

Either way; I am not faking it and I am beyond done with their behavior. Psychological abuse has never gotten any of my ex’s anywhere but jail, restraining orders, and domestic violence classes. One lost his kids because of his behavior. This entire experience with them has taught me my picker is still broken and that I need to be more aware of who I get involved with.

The last communication we did have was about services that was supposed to be put in place so Lil One could come home. I am pretty sure that is what judge said, I could be wrong. I will find out though. Her take on it.

The twice weekly in-home service (Companies Name) is a service that is initiated when Reunification is planned within 7 days. … The judge agreed that Lil One should not be returned home at this time so I cannot refer for this service yet.

SOCIAL WORKER, PERSONAL COMMUNICATION, November 19, 2019

My response was that we could address it this week.

The gaslighting is getting so redundant. I am sure they will attempt another issue to interrupt it and make the judge pause.

This time I have definitely learned from this past year and this experience with their behavior has taught me anything is that putting up with gaslighting from anyone is not acceptable. Whether the perpetrator intentionally does it or not; it is not behaviour that is conducive to healthy mental health. It surely does not belong in DCYF employees behaviors with clients.

If they want someone to remove themselves from controlling behavior for the betterment of the family and child – help the person do not abuse them. That sends the parent deeper into a mental collapse and can drive a mentally unstable person to do very not right things. This is why DV victims think “the help” offered by their abusers is so wonderful and they go back. Or parents walk away from their kids because they do not want to deal with being treated like a horrible person and having everything they do and say dismissed as something that is nothing. When they are doing everything they are supposed to be doing and more to get their kids back.

DCYF is a terrible system and no matter what a parent has done to land ourselves there, the treatment received by some of our social workers is completely uncalled for.

Myself? I just tell them to frack off. I have had a hard time not telling them to do that. Thank you AA for the teachings of Pen and Tongue.

Image credits: Featured, by Cheezburger ; Middle, by Free Icons Library

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