I think there comes a time in everyone’s life when we have moments of clarity regarding past behavior. That aha moment when we see ourselves going down that road again and we do a break check fast and hard.
I am the child of an abuser. I was my biological mothers’ victim and she taught me well. I married into abuse and after having children decided this is not the life I wanted for us. This family tradition ends with me.
I sought my local Domestic Violence (DV) Shelter for help. Even after the help I received after my violent marriage I still ended up in another DV relationship. It started loving and wonderful. In the end it turned violent when I had enough of the controlling behavior.
Now, a decade later I have come full circle. Only this time I am not going to chance the escalation from controlling behavior to violence. Department of Children, Youth, and Families (DCYF) has stepped in, removing my 6-year-old daughter. I did not see the entirety of his controlling behavior until this past week. When it escalated – the reality of it has been like a truck hitting me.
Today I am taking action. I am finding a support group and making myself safe. Keeping my child safe and addressing the mental health aspect of this. I am writing this to help others to let them know that they do not have to go back. Breaking our chains is possible.
If it were not for DCYF stepping in to force me to look at myself, and forcing me to distance myself from this man totally…I do not know where I would be.