A Letter to Heaven

The things I wish I had said now will haunt me. I question myself a hundred times a minute if there was anything I could have done to help you. I go back and forth between angry, sad, then numb. It is grief in full swing, and it has me in its depths where I want to yell at you for leaving us.

I know I am being selfish because you are no longer in pain and suffering. You have found that happiness and peace that you were searching for. I am happy for you in this regard because you deserve to be happy and at peace. I am sad for the rest of us because we no longer have your beautiful soul to be around. I am angry that you left us instead of giving yourself a chance. I am sorry that you felt the need to leave us. I am sorry you were in so much pain. I am sorry that I could not help you how you needed it. I want to ask you “Why?!” and wake up from this nightmare that is life without you. You were a ray of sunshine that walked through my life and now I will never see your smiling face or get a hug from you when I see you.

Thank you for being my friend, for making me laugh when I wanted to cry. For listening about silly things when you did not have too. For always smiling when you saw me. For being brave enough to point out to me what I needed to work on to better myself even when I did not want to hear it. For being you. Just always know this-WE MISS YOU.

You are loved beyond words and we miss you. We will survive this, but we miss you. I know life was hard for you and this was what you felt you needed to do. We miss you. I will never forget your smile. How it was usually in your eyes and radiated warmth.

I am at a complete loss to make sense of this tragedy. Be at peace my friend and know that I will always love and miss you.

Image credits: Featured, by Pinterest

Categories: Blogging

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