When I was first in treatment for drug addiction I described life like a merry go round. Fast, so very fast and I needed it to slow down. Someone told me to get a new nursery rhyme and said Duck Duck Goose. I have never forgotten that, even after over a decade. I have looked for it, aimed for it, occasionally settled for the slower merry go round but it always leads me back to active addiction, chaos, anger, depression, anxiety, and loosing everything I hold dear.
In the last two years I have lost quite a few people I love to addiction overdose, suicide, and health issues that took their life. I saw an image and thought of how peaceful it was…and you.
It was this pristine peaceful looking lake that is like a slice of heaven for me. That is what you did for me, gave me that peace and serene feeling when we talked and laughed. I felt loved and at peace when we talked. There was always respect even when you were being silly with me. I have had many close friends however this feeling is not one that I felt often over the years.
I miss you, I cannot express how much I miss you and wish I could talk to you and tell you about this (and so many other things). I have found Duck Duck Goose and did not even realize it. I found it in you, my family and children, some of my very close friends that I am blessed to still have in my life today, and in finding companionship again. True, unconditional, accepting that has no limits and expects nothing but myself. I know you are looking down at me smiling going “she is getting it” in your loving, kind way.
I did not tell you how I felt about you and I regret that with a pain that is deep but I have learned from it. I have many people in my life today that love me, and I love them. You taught me wonderful lessons about life and are still doing it after your death.
Here is a link for more images of Seealpsee, Switzerland it is beautiful and so peaceful looking. It sums you up so eloquently. Thank you for being in my life and showing me what it is like to have harmony. Today I can see it when it shows in my life. Be safe up there and run with Heidi and Nae Nae for me.